November 2016

November 9, 2016

Get started on your vows one month before the wedding.

By then, all your planning and decision-making will be nearly finished, and you can focus your mind and heart squarely on the day's emotion. Try not to worry about the writing itself. The sentiment is the most important aspect of this first step.

Begin separately.

Schedule some alone time to write your vows independently before sharing them with your significant other. You don't want to influence each other—it should be personal.

Ask yourself questions.

How did you fall in love? What do you admire about your future partner? What do you hope for your future together? Why have you chosen to spend the rest of your life with this person? What do you love most about him or her? Take time to really think about your answers, so they translate easily into vows.

Look to literature.

Once you've gathered your own thoughts, scour books and poems that you love to read.

Make promises.

Focus on what marriage means to you. What are you saying yes to? Think about the good times (and model relationships in your life), but consider all of the stumbling blocks in your relationship, too. 

Turn to tradition.

Look to classic wedding vows for any wording or covenants that you'd like to update and incorporate into your own vows. For example, you might want to replace "till death do us part" with "as long as we both shall live." 

Don't worry about being funny.

Reciting your wedding vows is a promise of love and commitment—not an open-mic night at your favorite comedy club. Don't try and force the funny. Instead, focus on keeping the positive upbeat and celebratory. 

Mention the rings.

Be sure to draft a line that signals to the officiant and best man that it's time to put a ring on it. These "ring vows" are short, no more than one or two sentences. "With this ring, I thee wed" is the most universally recognizable phrasing, but some couples choose other messages like "With this ring our hands, like our lives, are joined forever." 

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